


Starred Up

by GeorginaKane



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Minor Character Death, Racism, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-26 04:39:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4990561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeorginaKane/pseuds/GeorginaKane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey Milkovich is a violent juvenile offender. He's so violent that he is being transferred to an adult prison 2 years early. There he meets a certain red head who leads an anger management therapy group. But with his father Terry being housed in the same prison, is Mickey past the point of saving?</p>
<p>*Based on the British movie, Starred Up but with obvious changes*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part one

Starred Up

 

Mickey Milkovich was one violent kid. He was getting starred up, a term used when inmates become too violent to stay in the juvenile environment and are therefore transferred early in to the adult facilities. In Mickey’s case, he was being transferred two years early. At 19, he would be the youngest inmate at the prison.

He causally stepped off the bus and let himself be escorted to the admitting wing. Once there, he was met with a smug looking douche bag in a suit who eyed him up and down like a cat in heat.

“My name is Warden Hamilton. You will address me as sir or Warden. Is that clear?” he warned.

Mickey simply smirked back, undeterred by the warden’s meager attempts at intimidation, even when he was instructed to strip. He slowly took his clothes off, almost giving the guards a show. Once he was completely naked, he was told to bend over.

The warden never took his eyes off Mickey. When a guard placed a gloved finger inside Mickey’s ass, the warden laughed as Mickey gave an angry growl.

“Not so tough are you Milkovich?” the warden mocked.

Mickey was never one to think things through. He always acted out of anger instead of being rational but he didn’t really have good role models growing up so technically it wasn’t his fault. Mickey gave the warden a mischievous smile before he started to fuck himself on the guard’s finger, moaning in pleasure. The guard immediately removed his finger and gave Mickey a disgusted look. Mickey just laughed and stood back up.

“Get dressed,” the warden instructed before throwing Mickey the prison issued sweats.

He got dressed in silence and after he put his shoes on, he was told to stand there and wait while a guard handcuffed him. He waited, looking bored out of his mind. Finally a woman came in and handed a piece of paper to the warden. He walked up to Mickey, eyeing him again.

“You are nothing here. You are no one. You… are M-821204. That’s who you are, a number. Got it?” the warden tried but failed to be menacing.

Mickey still said nothing, just continued his playful smirk as he looked right into the warden’s eyes. He was then led off by at least four guards, all with batons and taser guns at the ready. Once they reached his cell, they walked him to the bed, bent him over it and removed the handcuffs. When the door closed, Mickey looked through the glass at the warden and the other officers. He paced back and forth like a caged animal looking positively evil.

In the moment, the warden knew, Mickey Milkovich was a ticking time bomb.

 

***

Mickey felt like he was going to die of boredom. He wasn’t really allowed anything at first. Apparently everything had to be earned so for now all he had was liquid soap, a plastic cup and plate with his name on it, toothpaste, a toothbrush, a lighter and a razor. Bad idea, he thought.

He looked at the items on his bed and grabbed the toothbrush and the lighter. He broke the toothbrush into two pieces and lit the brush end on fire until it melted. He smashed the razor and took out the blade, placing it carefully into the melted end of the toothbrush and waited until it cooled down. Instant shank.

He took the other half of the toothbrush and lit just the end on fire. He then pushed it into a screw on his light fixture. He held it in place for a few moments and then removed it. He looked down at his handy work and smiled. Instant screwdriver. He fit the makeshift screwdriver back into the screw and opened the side of the light fixture. He carefully placed his shank inside and promptly closed it.

He paced around his room having way too much energy to be cooped up. A few minutes later he heard an officer yell “Open doors” and then the sound of doors unlocking left and right. Finally, he thought.

He slowly opened his door and watched as hundreds of inmates moved around him. He looked around curiously, trying to decipher the weak from the strong. He caught the eye of the guy standing in the cell across from his. Might as well try and make friends.

“Hey you got any smokes?” Mickey asked.

“Nah man,” the guy said and walked away.

There was something about him that Mickey didn’t like. He wasn’t sure what but he could tell the asshole was lying. He shrugged it off and followed the other inmates who were making their way to the mess hall. He got in line with his stupid little plate and kept his eyes guarded and alert. Once he reached the front, he waited as a huge black guy eyeballed him while placing his runny eggs and stale bread on his plate.

“You got a fucking problem?” the black guy asked Mickey.

“No. No problem, just curious how you get your hair to look like sticky pubes,” Mickey said with a small laugh.

The guy lunged at him but was restrained and Mickey was led back to his cell. Clearly they have no sense of humor. He ate his nasty eggs and toast but quickly found himself bored again. He didn’t really feel like talking to anyone so he decided to take a nap.

Since it was still common time, the doors to all the cells were unlocked. At first he didn’t hear anyone come into his cell but when he realized that someone was in there, he pounced and started punching and kicking at the guy. Once the man fell back and hit his head, Mickey stopped long enough to look at the guys hand and saw a pack of cigarettes. The guy, he then realized was the same guy from across the hall. He was now lying in his cell, unconscious.

“Fuck!” he sighed as he bent down to check on him.

  
“Oh, C’mon man, don’t fucking die on me!” he muttered as he picked the man up and slung him over his shoulder.

He walked as quickly as he could down the hall to the gate. He placed the man on the ground and yelled for the guards to help him.

“Don’t move, stay right there!” they yelled at him.

“It was an accident!” he yelled back but it didn’t matter. He could see the guards on the other side of the gate getting ready to take him down. Well fuck that, he thought.

Mickey ran back to his cell and shut the door. He took his shirt off and poured all of the liquid soap on himself, rubbing it everywhere, trying to slick himself up. He then grabbed the wooden table in the room and smashed it on the floor, tearing at the legs and holding them as weapons. He could hear the guards just outside yell at the other inmates to get in their cells.

He could see them in their riot gear, ready to destroy him. The warden gave him a warning to put the table legs down. Mickey replied, “Fuck off!” and spit at the window. The guards entered the small cell and cornered Mickey. He pushed back with all his might and was able to get a few blows in. One of the guards fell back, Mickey punched another and the third, he kicked in the groin.

That guard fell to his knees and Mickey took his opportunity to hold a sharp piece of wood to the man’s neck.

“I’ll fucking do it! I swear I will. Now get the fuck out! Piss off!” he screamed, still holding the shard dangerously close to the man’s jugular. The other guards left the room. 

“Calm down! Just stay calm,” the warden said.

“I fucking told you it was an accident!” Mickey explained.

“I know it was,” the warden replied.

“You believe me then?” Mickey asked.

“Yes, now please let the officer go,” the warden said politely.

Mickey released the guard and put his hands up, defensively but also in surrender. The guards immediately grabbed him, forced him on the bed and roughly handcuffed him.

“Oh you fucking pieces of shit!” Mickey yelled as he struggled in the restraints. They shoved him down again and started hitting him with their batons.

They finally removed him from his cell and started to literally drag him toward solitary confinement, conveniently located at the other end of the prison. He swore at them the whole time, unleashing every insult he could think of.

The guards slowed down when they reached a narrow hallway where they had to wait for a door to be unlocked before they could go any farther.

Mickey looked to his right and saw some inmates sitting in a circle and a man wearing a dress shirt and tie.

“You guys should be in lockdown, get back to your fucking cells,” one of the guards yelled.

Mickey took the distraction as an opportunity. He snapped his head back and hit the guard behind him right in the face. This caused the guard to lose his grip on the inmate. He kicked the guard in front of him and ran into the room. The guards followed him in and it was basically a cluster fuck of guards and inmates. Mickey got knocked down but managed to get to his knees and continued to fight. The man in the dress shirt screamed at everyone to stop.

Mickey did, but only when his teeth were securely around one of the guards genitals. Everyone looked on in horror as the guard screamed when Mickey bit down. The warden had enough and he ordered his men to beat Mickey. The man in the dress shirt didn’t like that idea and quickly stepped in front of them.

“Not fucking happening!” the man yelled.

“Get out of the way Mr. Gallagher. This has nothing to do with you,” the warden spit viciously.

“The hell it doesn’t,” Mr. Gallagher said, standing his ground.

Mickey was somewhat impressed by this behavior.

“Leave now or I’ll take your keys and resignation,” Warden Hamilton warned.

Mr. Gallagher hesitated but eventually started to walk away. That was until Mickey bit down again, eliciting a strangled yelp from the guard.

He looked up at the man and then at the warden. Mr. Gallagher looked at him and then back at the warden.

“I think he wants me to stay,” Mr. Gallagher said.

The warden rolled his eyes but allowed it. Just then, Mr. Gallagher carefully crouched down to Mickey’s eye level and very slowly placed his hand on Mickey’s back.

“It’s okay. You can let go of officer…” he looked up at the guard, expectantly waiting for his name.

“Johnson,” he choked out.

Mr. Gallagher couldn’t help the smirk on his face realizing the irony of the situation.

“Please let go of officer Johnson,” he asked softly.

Mickey seemed to hesitate, so Mr. Gallagher reassured him.

“Don’t worry, they won’t hurt you. I’ll make sure of it,” he said, placing his hand back on Mickey’s shoulder.

For some reason, Mickey wanted to trust this guy. He slowly opened his mouth and released his grip on officer Johnson’s johnson. As soon as the guard was freed, Mr. Gallagher grabbed Mickey and pushed him into a corner, shielding him from the other guards with his own body.

“You okay?” he asked Mickey.

Mickey simply nodded and looked around the room. He wanted to laugh at how pissed off the guards looked but fuck them.

“He assaulted another inmate as well as my officers. He needs to go into solitary confinement,” the warden explained to Mr. Gallagher.

“And he will, right?” he asked and Mickey nodded again.

He followed Mr. Gallagher out of the room and into the solitary wing. Once the door to a cell opened, Mr. Gallagher motioned for him to go inside and it was Mr. Gallagher who removed Mickey’s restraints. Mickey didn’t say anything. He just stared at this gorgeous red head that was actually being nice to him.

 

***

 

“His name is Mickey Milkovich. He’s 19 ….starred up,” Warden Hamilton explained.

“He needs help Tom,” Mr. Gallagher said inside the warden’s office.

“What Ian, you think you can change him, cure him? Sorry but you can’t cure being a psychotic asshole,” the warden retorted.

“Let me try. He’s exactly the type of inmate that my program is for,” Ian pleaded.

The warden rolled his eyes but gave in.

“Fine, you can have your little lab rat. But one more incident, one more fuck up from him and he’s back down here, got it?”

Ian nodded his head and turned around walking out of the office. He walked back down to solitary confinement and went up to Mickey’s cell. Mickey was sitting on the bed, staring daggers at Ian. Suddenly Ian felt foolish, but he was determined to help every inmate he could. Mickey was no exception.

 

***

 

The next day Mickey was brought back to his normal cell. He had stolen a pack of cigarettes from another inmate’s room and walked over to the cell across from his. Inside, he could see the man that he knocked unconscious and tentatively handed the pack over, placing it on the table.

“No hard feelings man,” Mickey said and immediately backed away.

The guy didn’t say anything but gave him a short nod.

After lunch he was allowed outside for 30 minutes. He stood next to the fence and stared out at all of the inmates passing by him. There was definitely a hierarchy and he was trying to figure out who was in charge. Mickey tensed up when he saw the man that was walking toward him. This was not someone he wanted to see again, ever.

“So, got yourself locked up I see. You always were a dumb piece of shit. Never could do nothing right. Figures you’d end up here,” the man said.

“Well you know what they say, like father like son,” Mickey spit back.

Terry just smirked at the arrogance of his son.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that. This isn’t some young offender’s turnout. You better watch yourself,” Terry shot back and walked away.

Mickey finally relaxed when he realized his father wasn’t going to hurt him. Not yet anyway.

 

***

Later that day, Mickey found himself bored. He decided to work out a little and started doing push-ups. He stopped when he heard a key unlocking his cell. He stood up and was met with the greenest eyes he had ever seen. Ian was wearing a dark jeans, a green shirt with a gold tie and a brown jacket. He didn’t seem that much older than Mickey, mid-twenties maybe.

“You look nice,” Mickey stated.

Ian looked down at his outfit and then back at Mickey.

“Really?” Ian asked disbelievingly.

Mickey just stared at him like he was an idiot.

“What the fuck do you want red?” Mickey asked, clearly agitated.

“I’m here to take you to your first session,” Ian explained.

Mickey looked at him like he had three heads.

“What fucking session?” Mickey demanded.

“Anger management. It’s that or solitary confinement, you pick,” Ian said flatly.

“Anger management huh?” Mickey snorted.

Ian just stood there expectantly.

“By all means, lead the way red,” Mickey motioned with his hand.

“My name is Ian,” he said.

“You really think I give a shit?” Mickey retorted.

Ian just rolled his eyes. When they got to the therapy room, about five other men were already there sitting on chairs in a circle.

“Sorry I’m late, just had to pick up our last member,” Ian said to the group as he motioned for Mickey to sit down.

Mickey looked around and realized that most of the men there were a lot older and bigger than he was. Each one of them was already sizing him up.

“Everyone, this is Mickey Milkovich and he will be joining the group,” Ian said.

Ian started to talk but honestly Mickey couldn’t give a fuck so he lit up a cigarette.

“Smoking is not permitted during the session. We take a break and you can smoke then,” Ian explained.

Mickey being the ridiculous asshole that he was, continued to smoke and even blew the smoke in Ian’s face. What he didn’t know was who the person waiting outside was. Suddenly the door opened and Terry stormed in.

He went right up to Mickey, grabbed his cigarettes and gripped his sweatshirt, forcing Mickey to look at him.

“What the fuck are you doing? He told you not to smoke, you little shit. You’ll get these back when you’re done,” he berated Mickey in front of everyone taking his cigarettes away.

Mickey expression turned to stone.

“Excuse me, who the hell are you? We’re in a session so you need to leave, now,” Ian said to the angry intruder.

Terry looked at Ian and laughed.

“You’ll never get through to him that way. You need to come down on him otherwise he’ll never listen,” Terry said before he left the room.

“Who was that?” Ian asked the room.

“Terry Milkovich,” a few people said.

Ian sat back down and looked at Mickey who appeared to be on the verge of going homicidal.

“As in…. Jesus Christ,” Ian muttered.

By now Mickey was so agitated, he knew that if he didn’t get out now, he would kill every single person in that room.

He abruptly got up and went to the locked door.

“Let me the fuck out! Open the fucking door. Now!” he bellowed. The guard looked at Ian who nodded. As soon as the door was open, Mickey was taken back to his cell.

Ian sat back down, determined to have his session. He looked at some of the men and asked what wing they were housed in. Two men mentioned Mickey’s wing.

“Would you mind looking out for him? He’s just a kid,” Ian asked politely. The men nodded their heads and the session started.

 

***

 

Mickey’s day was going from bad to worse. After dinner he went back to his cell, determined to get some sleep but the doors were set to remain open for another hour. He didn’t even see the three men come in but he knew as soon as they held him down.

He felt a punch across his face and another one to the gut.

“Get the fuck off me!” he yelled as he struggled to get up.

He managed to free one of his arms and used it to gouge out the eye of one of the intruders. As he punched another inmate, he noticed one of the guys from his session there. The guy seemed to be defending Mickey, punching and clawing at another of the inmates that were assaulting him. Mickey was so amped up that he kept punching one of the men over and over.

Finally the guy from the session stepped in and stopped him.

“Hey calm the fuck down! You defend yourself but you don’t go looking for another sentence, got it?” he said and Mickey finally started to calm down. The men slowly got up, battered and bruised, and left the room.

“I’m Jerome, by the way,” he said as he walked out of Mickey’s cell.

 

***

 

“Hey Terry, heard your kid’s inside,” Marcus said as Terry walked by him.

“Yeah the little shit,” he huffed a laugh and kept walking until Marcus stopped him.

“He’s causing trouble,” Marcus said in a serious tone.

“You know what that does to my business. Keep him straight you hear me?” Marcus warned.

Terry nodded and went into his cell.

 

***

 

The next day finds Mickey in his cell exercising again. He hears his door open and is met by the red head yet again.

“We got to stop meeting like this red,” Mickey said in a flirtatious tone. He was trying to make the guy nervous but for some reason it wasn’t working.

Ian simply smirked.

“Where are you from?” Mickey asked Ian.

“Chicago, Southside,” Ian answered.

Mickey snorted.

“Funny, you don’t look Southside to me,” Mickey laughed.

“I was sent away when I was younger to live with my father on the Northside. He was never around so he sent me to military school,” Ian explained.

“So what the fuck are you doing here?” Mickey asked.

Ian shifted uncomfortably.

“I came to take you to group,” Ian started to explain but Mickey cut him off.

“No, I mean what are you doing in this shit hole?”

Ian smiled.

“I actually feel at home here. I know it seems strange but…” Ian said.

“Oh so is there where you open up to me and build trust?” Mickey asked with a smart ass tone.

Ian looked at Mickey confused by his statement but answered him, “Yes.”

“Okay, let’s do that,” Mickey said, taking a seat.

“You know I got sent away when I was young, like you. Yeah, I got put into foster care after my mom died. She um… she OD’d on heroin. I found her in the bedroom lying in her own shit. Then when I was fourteen I killed my foster dad. I boiled sugar and water… and boom. Cuz you know, those kiddy fuckers, they like to talk to you like they’re your friend. They like to build trust and make you feel like what they’re doing is okay. I’ll never forget what he looked like. His face melted off his body,” Mickey said.

Ian just stared back, unsure of what to say.

“I think you might have misunderstood what the group is about, can I come in?” he asked politely.

“Why, so you can start touching me? Fuck off you cunt,” Mickey snarled.

“Why should I give a shit about you?” Ian asked, clearly agitated.

“Because, I’m starred up and you want to make a name for yourself. You want to cure the ultra-violent offender, right?” Mickey mocked.

“Fuck you,” Ian sneered before he could stop himself.

“Fuck me? No thanks red, you’re not my type,” Mickey smirked and walked past him.

“You coming pretty boy?” Mickey asked, turning around to find Ian walking behind him. Now Ian was the one with the smirk on his face.

 

***

 

“Sorry I’m late,” Ian said to his group members.

He took a seat and motioned for Mickey to do the same. As soon as he was seated, one of the members spoke.

“Why’d you run away last session,” he asked.

But before Mickey could say anything, Ian answered.

“He didn’t run away, he removed himself from the situation before he became violent.”

“Whatever man, he ran,” the inmate continued.

“No, he made a choice,” Ian said.

“Why are you getting mad at me?” the inmate asked.

“Because you’re trying to piss him off and I won’t have that,” Ian replied.

Mickey just looked between the two men and smiled.

“I don’t have to piss him off, I’ll leave that to his fucking dad,” the inmate spit out.

Mickey immediately lunged at him but was held back by Jerome.

“Fuck you, you piece of shit!” Mickey yelled at the inmate.

“Hey, calm down man, calm down,” Jerome said, boxing him in.

Ian got up and went over to the inmate. He stood over him as he spoke.

“That was uncalled for Darius. You know I don’t want that shit in here.”

“Whatever man,” Darius responded and waved Ian off.

“Get out and don’t come back until you can follow the fucking rules,” Ian said lowly.

Darius stood up and gave a menacing glare to Ian before walking out.

“All right, who’s got a topic for today?” Ian finally said.

 

***

 

Later that day, Mickey got to go to the prison gym to workout instead of being locked up. In there he found Jerome who waived him over. The pair started doing push-ups together. Another man from the group came over and introduced himself as Leroy. He asked Mickey if he wanted to spar and Mickey agreed. As they sparred, Mickey noticed his dad walking through the door and looking at him. Mickey tried not to pay him any attention.

Terry walked over to the weights and kicked a guy off the bench press. He did his lifts but he’s clearly angry. He walked up to Mickey and gave him a dirty glare before leaving the gym. Mickey shrugged it off and continued his workout.

After he showered, he headed back to his cell. He wasn’t even there five minutes when his father bursts through the door.

“I told you to stay out of trouble and do as you’re told!” he screamed.

“What the fuck are you on about?” Mickey answered, totally confused.

His father smacked him hard across the face. So hard that Mickey fell on to his bed.

“I told you to stay out of trouble and what the fuck do you do? You make friends with fucking niggers?”

“That’s what you’re pissed about, that I’m making connections without your fucking help? Is that it?” Mickey snorts.

His father delivers another blow and another. Soon Mickey’s eyesight began to blur. He couldn’t focus on anything as he laid there and took the abuse. He didn’t realize when the guards had come in or when he was taken to the medical wing.

 

***

Mickey opened his eyes and realized he was on a hospital bed. Even though he was in pain and barely able to move, the fucking guards still found it necessary to handcuff him to the bed.

“Hey, you okay?” he heard someone ask.

He opened his eyes as much as he could and found the red head staring back at him.

“The fuck you doing here?” Mickey croaked out, his voice still hoarse from sleep.

“I wanted to check on you, make sure you were alright,” Ian explained.

“The fuck is it to you?” Mickey asked a bit more agitated than necessary.

“Your well-being matters to me Mickey,” Ian said earning a throaty laugh from Mickey.

“Fuck off. I don’t need your fucking pity!” Mickey yelled.

“It’s not pity Mickey,” Ian tried to explain but was failing.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like you know me! You don’t know shit about me!” Mickey bellowed.

Ian got up from his seat and walked over to the bed.

“I know a lot about you Mickey. You’re the typical piece of shit that ends up here. No dad, absent mom, years of abuse and neglect. You act out because no one in your life ever gave a fuck about you and that pisses you off. Well you know what? It pisses me off too! No kid should ever go through what you went through. So even if it means you hating me more than anything, I’m going to care and I’m going to give a shit about you Mickey. Not because I pity you, but because I understand you,” Ian said.

Ian didn’t even wait for Mickey to say anything before he stormed out.

 

***

 

Mickey was released from the medical wing a week later. He spent most days cooped up in his room. The last thing he wanted was to possibly run into his father. One day, however, he was met with a knock on his door. It opened slowly and he saw a flash of red peek in.

“Mickey?” he heard the red head ask.

“What?” Mickey answered, annoyed.

“I was wondering if you would be coming back to group or not?” Ian asked timidly.

Mickey turned over on his bed and faced the ginger. He couldn’t help but be happy to see him. He wasn’t gonna tell him that of course.

“What’s in it for me?” Mickey asked unimpressed by Ian’s presence.

“A chance to get better,” Ian answered simply.

“No thanks,” Mickey replied.

“Well it’s group or solitary, your choice,” Ian bargained.

“Really? You’re pulling that shit again?” Mickey asked, seemingly amused.

The red head just smiled.

“Crazy motherfucker,” Mickey mumbled as he got up and followed Ian out to the hall.

When they got to the room, the men greeted Mickey in a respectful way, something Mickey was definitely not used to.

The session went without incident and Ian decided to walk Mickey back to his cell.

“You give everyone this star treatment?” Mickey teased, smirking at the tall red head.

“Only the inmates I like,” Ian flirted back with a wink.

Mickey didn’t know what to make of that. Was Ian gay or was he just playing Mickey’s game? When they reached the cell, Ian walked in after Mickey and closed the door.

Mickey turned around and faced Ian. They stared at each other for a long time before Mickey spoke.

“You forget something Gallagher?” Mickey whispered, looking Ian up and down with lustful eyes.

Ian looked at him, staring into his eyes.

“Just making sure you’re alright,” Ian answered almost breathlessly.

The sexual tension in the room was off the charts. Ian backed away slowly.

“I better get going,” he said to Mickey before opening the door and walking out.

Mickey finally exhaled the breath he’d been holding.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!

***

“He’s making connections Terry… with the wrong people,” Marcus warned.

“The last thing I need is some turf war between Milkoviches,” he explained.

“I know Marcus, but what do you want me to do about it?” Terry asked, seemingly annoyed by this repeat conversation.

“You know what to do. You said it yourself, he means nothing to you right?” Marcus questioned.

Terry didn’t say anything as he walked out of the cell.

 

***

 

Mickey found himself dreaming about the red head. He tried to keep his mind occupied but when he was stuck in his cell for 20 hours out of the day, it was hard to focus. He imagined Ian’s pink lips ghosting over his body, down his chest toward his abdomen.

His strong arms holding Mickey down, keeping him steady while he pushed himself down on the younger boy, driving him crazy. Mickey would wake up sweating and obscenely turned on. His only recourse would be to come so hard in his hand that he would almost black out. That’s what Ian did to him.

The next few days were a blur to Mickey. He tried to keep to himself and only left his cell to go to his group and to eat. He started to enjoy his group sessions, even looked forward to them. He tried to tell himself that it had nothing to do with Ian but he knew that was a lie. He didn’t want to make his attraction too blatant but sometimes he couldn’t help but stare. The man was stunning after all.

Unfortunately since Mickey was focusing a little too much on Ian, he never saw the attack coming. He was alone in the showers after his session when he was grabbed from behind. He felt a thin rope wrap around his throat as he was beaten to the ground. He struggled with all his might as his vision blurred.

He found the strength to push the man back into the shower wall but doing so caused both men to fall over. The man that was now draped over him resumed his strangling, holding Mickey tighter. They struggled for a few minutes before Mickey closed his eyes and his body went limp.

As soon as the man loosened his grip, Mickey opened his eyes and elbowed him right in the eye. He quickly got loose  and climbed on top of the other inmate. Now Mickey was the one doing the choking.

“Who the fuck sent you?!” Mickey bellowed.

When the inmate didn’t answer, he punched him and then went back to his choke hold.

“I’m not gonna ask again. Who sent you?” Mickey snarled.

He softened his grip when the man wanted to speak.

“Terry,” was all the inmate spit out before Mickey knocked him unconscious.

He got dressed fast and ran toward his father’s cell block. He found his father leaving Marcus’s cell and lunged toward him. His father was surprised by the attack but quickly fought back. They were a mess of kicks and punches, some connecting, some hitting the air.

“You fucking asshole! You think you can kill me?” Mickey screamed.

“You’re no son of mine, you piece of shit!” Terry bellowed.

Mickey had no idea what got into him but he was suddenly punching his father like crazy, leaving him bloodied and broken. Finally after a few minutes, the fight was stopped by the guards and each man was taken down to solitary confinement. The men never let up on their vicious insults to each other. Even when they were in their respective cells. Their verbal attacks could be heard down the entire corridor.

After a few hours, Mickey found himself on his bed, desperately trying to get some sleep. He was so wound up and angry. His fucking father tried to have him killed. Who does that shit? He was contemplating the many ways he wanted to torture his father when he heard a knock on his door. He got up and went into full defensive mode, assuming it was the guards.

He relaxed when he saw it was Ian.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Mickey whispered, trying to sound annoyed but it came out more curious.

Ian smirked and walked closer.

“Just wanted to check on you. I heard what happened,” Ian said cautiously.

“Why do you care?” Mickey asked, looking at Ian shyly.

“You know why,” he replied as he stepped closer. He brushed his fingers along Mickey’s arm and felt a shiver go through his body.

Never in his 3 years as prison therapist had Ian had such a draw to an inmate, let alone an attraction. Most of the inmates were pure scum, people Ian would never interact with in the real world. But there was something about Mickey that was different. Ian didn’t know what but he knew he didn’t want to leave him alone. He didn’t want him to get hurt.

Their moment was interrupted by the cell door opening. The men separated themselves and looked to see two guards enter followed by the warden.

“Checking in on your lab rat Gallagher?” the warden asked Ian.

“He’s not a lab rat,” Ian bit back and looked at Mickey as he was taken away.

“Where are you taking him?” Ian asked.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but he’s going back to his cell,” the warden answered.

Before Ian could say anything else, Mickey was dragged out of the cell. For some reason, Ian felt uneasy. Something wasn’t right.

He went back to his office and tried to work but something was still nagging at him. Why would they keep Mickey in solitary confinement for only a couple hours? And why release him but keep his dad locked up? Ian gave up on his work and decided to check on Mickey.

When he reached Mickey’s cell, he knocked and let himself in but Mickey wasn’t there. He looked around and saw that most of the inmates were back in their cells. Lights out was coming soon and the cells would be locked in just a few minutes. So where was Mickey?

He stepped outside the cell and met eyes with the inmate from across the way. He walked up to him and whispered, “Have you seen Mickey?”

The inmate looked around before he answered. “Marcus took him a little while ago. That’s all I know man and you didn’t hear that shit from me,” the inmate informed.

Ian shook his head indicating that he understood and walked away. Marcus. Of course that asshole had something to do with this. Marcus O’neil was a lifer doing time for two murders, well at least two that could be proven. Who knew how many people he had actually killed.

He was known as the king of the block, fiercely territorial and unrelentingly racist. Terry Milkovich was his number two in command. He handled all of the dirty work and the collecting. Ian was finally putting the puzzle together. His quest now was to find Marcus.

 

***

 

Mickey thought it was weird that he was being taken back to his cell so quickly but he didn’t want to argue. Anything beat solitary confinement.

Once he reached his cell, he was immediately attacked and held down on the ground. Three inmates surround him, all of them kicking and hitting him. His head was fuzzy and he almost didn’t register the handcuffs that they were putting on him. He tried to struggle but was hit again.

When he woke up he was in a dark room that he had never seen before. He looked around and saw stacks of sheets all along the wall. He assumed he was in the laundry room.

He saw the three men again as he tried to get up and run away. But he was quickly kicked in the ribs repeatedly to keep him down. He could feel blood running down his face and he knew for sure at least a few ribs were broken. He struggled to get free from the handcuffs but it was no use. Just then he noticed what the men were doing. His eyes widened when he saw them tie a bed sheet into a noose.

 

 

***

 

Ian’s heart rate quickened as he made his way to the opposite cell block where he knew Marcus was housed. He readied himself and opened the cell door.

Marcus looked surprised to see Ian but not the least bit frightened, as he continued to look down at his book.

“Are you lost?” he asked, seemingly uninterested in the response.

“Where is he?” Ian asked lowly.

“Where’s who?” Marcus replied mockingly.

“Mickey, what did you do to him?” Ian growled, stepping closer.

What he didn’t see was the knife that Marcus was holding on to under his table.

“Mickey? Mickey? Nope, doesn’t ring a bell,” Marcus sassed as he tightened his grip on the knife. It was still hidden underneath the table, ready to attack.

Ian stepped closer still.

“I know you took him, now where is he?” Ian snarled.

Just then Marcus got up from his chair, slammed Ian against the wall and held the knife to his throat.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you?” Marcus gritted through his teeth.

“You really gonna kill me Marcus?” Ian said, trying to sound brave.

“Why not? I’m not going anywhere anytime soon right?” Marcus replied confidently.

Ian’s military school training was kicking in as he weighed his options. Escape was not possible which meant he had to fight back. He took in his surroundings and quickly studied the room.

“Then do it,” Ian provoked.

He hoped that goading Marcus would distract him long enough for Ian to grab the knife. In a split second, Ian managed to take Marcus’s arm, twist it and steal the knife from him. Ian immediately flipped Marcus over and slammed him up against the wall. Marcus fought back and pushed both their bodies into the adjoining wall.

Ian was undeterred as he back handed Marcus across the face and pushed him down onto the bed. He crawled on top of the inmate and held the knife to his face.

“Where the fuck is he Marcus?” Ian threatened, holding the knife closer to the skin.

“Fuck you Gallagher!” Marcus spit out.

Ian moved the knife in between Marcus’s legs and spoke again.

“I will cut your fucking dick off if you don’t tell me where the fuck he is!” Ian gritted, poking the knife deeper into Marcus’s skin.

Marcus finally seemed to believe Ian’s intentions.

“He’s in the basement, by the laundry. If you hurry you can stop it,” Marcus said.

Ian punched him squarely on the temple causing him to pass out. He got up and ran like his life depended on it. Well a life did depend on it. He hurried down the stairs and ran through multiple doors before reaching the basement.

He saw the door to the laundry open. When he got there, the inmates were propping an unconscious Mickey up and tying a noose made of bed sheets around his neck. They dropped him and watched him struggle as he began to suffocate. Ian noticed his hands were tied behind his back.

“Cut him down!” Ian yelled.

The inmates attacked him but thankfully Ian fought the men off, knocking a few out and slamming the head of the last one against the wall. He looked over to Mickey who had since stopped moving.

“No! No no no no!” Ian screamed.

He quickly cut Mickey down and cradled his lifeless body in his arms.

“C’mon Mickey, c’mon. Wake up… please wake up,” he pleaded as he gently shook the boy.

After a few seconds, Mickey started coughing. Ian relaxed a little and held Mickey closer. He could hear Mickey crying hysterically into his shoulder. He simply soothed him.

“It’s okay Mickey. You’re okay,” he said as he stroked Mickey’s hair.

Mickey continued to sob, overwhelmed by the idea that he had come so close to death.

Ian held him until the medics and other officers came. Even then, he was reluctant to let the young offender go.

 

***

 

Mickey sat on the bed in the medical ward, staring blankly at the wall in front of him. He tried walking around a little but the pain in his ribs caused him to hunch over in pain.

“Fuck,” he muttered to himself.

He was bored out of his mind but knew he couldn’t leave and join the other inmates until he was cleared. Just then he heard the door open and smiled when he saw Ian walking toward him.

“Hi,” Ian said softly.

Mickey didn’t say anything at first. Too much emotion was caught in his throat and he was scared that if he spoke he would breakdown crying.

“I just wanted to see if you were okay… God I seem to say that a lot huh? Guess it’s just-” Ian was cut off by Mickey’s lips.

Mickey kissed him hard, holding his face with one hand and his waist with the other. Ian was too shocked to return the kiss at first but eventually he gave in and deepened the kiss. He licked at Mickey’s lips asking for permission which Mickey granted by opening his mouth.

Ian slowly pushed Mickey against the wall as his hands traveled farther south to Mickey’s waist. He pushed Mickey’s shirt up and ran his fingers up and down Mickey’s back. When Ian’s fingers went to grip Mickey’s waist again, they brushed up on his ribs, causing Mickey to cry out in pain.

It was then that Ian remembered why Mickey was in the medical wing in the first place. He leaned back but didn’t let go of Mickey. He simply rested his head on Mickey’s forehead.

“Sorry,” Ian mumbled.

“Don’t be. I’ve been wanting to do that since I first met you,” Mickey answered with a genuine smile on his face.

“Really?” Ian asked, matching Mickey’s grin.

They stared at each other for a while before Ian spoke again.

“I need to get going. Got some paperwork to fill out,” Ian whispered.

He started to back up when Mickey stopped him.

“How did you know where I was?” Mickey asked with tears in his eyes.

“I asked Marcus,” Ian said reluctantly.

“You just asked him?” Mickey said disbelievingly.

“Yup,” Ian answered and smiled as he made to walk away again but this time he stopped himself.

“I might have threatened to cut off his dick with his own knife,” Ian explained playfully and shrugged.

Mickey laughed at that and Ian decided then and there that Mickey’s laugh was his favorite sound in the world.

Ian attempted to leave again. When he reached the door, Mickey spoke again.

“Will you wait for me?” Mickey asked so quietly that Ian almost missed it.

Ian turned and looked back at Mickey. He had the most hopeful expression on his face. Ian didn’t say anything, he simply smiled and left the room. Mickey was left alone, smiling too.

 

***

 

A few days later and Mickey was back in his cell, pacing. He was still in pain but it was manageable. He was scared. He had no idea what to expect. He didn’t know who liked him and who wanted him dead. His father was right about one thing… this wasn’t juvie.

He wasn’t surprised to see Ian at his door. After all it was 3pm, time for group. Ian stepped inside and shut the door. He walked to Mickey and gave him a warm hug. When they pulled away, Ian looked like he had something important to tell Mickey but he didn’t know how.

“What?” Mickey asked, catching Ian’s weird behavior.

“I just didn’t want you to hear it from anyone else…,” Ian started.

“Okay… what?” Mickey asked.

“Your dad’s dead. He was stabbed in the showers yesterday,” Ian said.

Mickey looked like he was in deep thought. He didn’t mourn his father’s death but the timing was peculiar.

“Who did it?” he asked.

“Apparently Marcus wanted both of you dead,” Ian explained.

“Oh,” was all Mickey replied.

“Don’t worry about Marcus though. He’s being transferred to a different prison later today,” Ian stated somewhat cheerfully.

Mickey didn’t seem cheerful though.

“Hey, look at me,” Ian demanded.

Mickey did as he was told and looked into Ian’s eyes.

“You’re gonna be okay Mickey. I promise,” Ian admitted.

Mickey still didn’t say anything but he did lean into Ian’s body, making Ian wrap his arms around the young convict.

“C’mon. All the guys in group are anxious to see you,” Ian said as he led Mickey to the door.

Mickey stopped him and finally spoke.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

Ian looked surprised.

“For what?” he asked.

Mickey looked away.

“For giving a shit,” he whispered as he turned back and placed a quick kiss to Ian’s lips.

Ian grinned.

 “I will you know. Wait I mean. I’ll wait for you,” he whispered to Mickey.

Mickey just looked down to the ground, unable to meet Ian’s eyes. After a moment, he finally got the courage to look up at Ian and smiled. It wasn’t ideal and it sure as shit wasn’t perfect but it was more than Mickey could ever hope for.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to write an epilogue because... why not! Enjoy!

2 years, 6 months, 3 weeks and 4 days later…  
“You ready?” Ian asked. 

He stood by the open cell door waiting for Mickey to follow him to their group therapy session. The inmate smiled shyly and walked out. As they strode past cell block after cell block Ian noticed Mickey’s apprehension. 

He was fidgeting and glancing around nervously. Ian had grown used to Mickey’s nuances, always picking up on his ever changing moods. 

“Nervous?” the red head asked when they stopped at a closed door. Mickey waited until the guard opened the door before he spoke. 

“Why would I be nervous?” Mickey bit out more aggressively than he had hoped. 

Ian sighed. Even though Ian had fallen for the felon long ago, he still had to remind himself that no matter how hard he tried or how close they became, there would always be a part of Mickey that was closed off. 

After more than two years in therapy, Ian still had no idea exactly what kind of abuse Mickey had suffered when he was a child. He still didn’t know the full details of what happened the night Mickey killed his foster dad. And he still didn’t know after all this time just how much the inmate cared about him. 

Mickey was a closed book. Even though he trusted Ian with his life, he couldn’t reveal the darker pieces of his past. He couldn’t do anything that might jeopardize the way his therapist looked at him like he was the only person in the world that mattered. 

Mickey would give anything to keep Ian looking at him like that. So yes, sometimes he would snap at the red head or storm out of the sessions if he was frustrated. Knowing that Ian cared about him wasn’t enough to cure him of his demons. Mickey didn’t think that day would ever come. 

“Maybe because this is your last session?” Ian stated as a question.

They both paused outside the room. Mickey wasn’t ready to be released. He knew it but Ian insisted that he was. Since he had started therapy, Mickey was given more freedoms within the facility and eventually won the hearts of the parole board. He was stunned when he received the letter stating the details of his release. 

But Mickey wasn’t ready. He had been locked up most of his life. He had no idea how to live in the adult world. He didn’t know how to get a job, open a bank account. He couldn’t even drive. What kind of adult loser would he be? And most importantly, why would Ian want to be with someone that couldn’t even take care of himself. 

Mickey would stay up late thinking about his release date as it approached. The truth was, Mickey was terrified. But he couldn’t tell Ian that. No, the red head needed to believe that Mickey had his shit together, that he was strong and able to take care of himself. The one thing Mickey never wanted from Ian was pity and once he was released, he was certain that’s what he would get. 

“Yeah and what? You think I’m gonna miss this shit?” Mickey asked incredulously. 

Ian tiredly shook his head and rolled his eyes. He knew Mickey was on edge. He had been ever since the parole board approved his release. He thought Mickey would have been thrilled to leave but something was holding him back and Ian was determined to find out what it was. 

Ian kept stealing glances at Mickey during the session, hoping to finally have some sort of break through or maybe a goodbye speech, but instead the raven haired inmate sat quietly in a corner and kept to himself. He would chime in every now and then but mostly stayed quiet.

He walked Mickey back to his cell like he always did but this time he lingered instead of leaving right away. 

“I was hoping you would have participated more today,” he admitted sadly.

Mickey turned to face him and frowned. 

“What did you want? Some big goodbye speech?” Mickey countered.

Ian knew he shouldn’t press the issue but it was eating away at him.

“Anything would have been nice. Something more than three word responses.”

Mickey’s expression turned to anger.

“What the fuck do you want from me?” he snarled.

Ian looked exasperated. This was it. Their big fight.

“I want you to talk to me. Tell me what’s going on in the head of yours!” Ian yelled back.

“Nothing is going on!” Mickey screamed.

“You’re such a liar!” Ian exclaimed.

“Yeah, I am a liar and a felon and a piece of shit so you can stop pretending to care!”

Mickey regretted the words before they even left his mouth but it was too late to take them back.

“I’m pretending? I’ve done nothing but help you since you got here and you’ve done nothing but push back every time, why is that?”

Mickey shook his head disbelievingly. Ian still didn’t get it. 

“You still don’t get it do you?” Mickey asked softly. 

Ian stepped closer but frowned when Mickey stepped away.

“What don’t I get? What’s the big secret?” Ian pushed.

“I’m scared,” Mickey mumbled.

Ian didn’t quite hear it.

“What?”

“I’m scared!” Mickey yelled.

It was the first time that Mickey had admitted to an emotion other than anger. 

“It’s okay to be scared Mickey.”

The felon looked up at Ian and took a deep breath. Ian stepped closer and this time Mickey didn’t back away.

“I’m scared too,” he whispered.

Mickey looked confused. He didn’t think that Ian was scared of anything. 

“You are?”

Ian nodded. 

“I’m scared that once you leave here I’ll lose you.”

Mickey couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This whole time he had been scared that Ian really didn’t want to be with him and here he was confessing his own fears. He felt Ian place a gentle hand on his neck. It took almost a whole year before Ian could touch Mickey without him flinching. 

“I don’t want to lose you Mickey,” Ian whispered softly, his lips ghosting over Mickey’s. 

Ian wanted nothing more than to kiss him but he knew he couldn’t. Not in his cell, not like this. He backed away and slowly opened the door, looking at Mickey sadly. 

Mickey wanted to say something. He wanted to tell Ian that he didn’t have to worry about losing him because he was already his. He wanted to say so much but in the end his fear got the best of him.

That night Mickey found himself tossing and turning, earning only pockets of fitful sleep. He didn’t know what time it was but he knew it was early. This was the day. His release date. He knew he wasn’t ready but like so many other things that happened in his life, he would have to deal with it. 

He realized that he needed to talk to Ian and tell him the truth. The outside world was much scarier without Ian in it and Mickey needed to know that he wouldn’t be alone. He resolved to talk to him first thing when the cells opened. 

As soon as his cell opened for the day, Mickey was quick to walk out toward Ian’s office. Since it was his last day inside, the guards took it easy on him and didn’t ask questions about where he was going. 

However, once he reached the office, he was met with an empty space. The room had recently been cleared out of everything except a now barren desk and chair. 

“What the?” Mickey whispered to himself.

“You lost Milkovich?” a guard asked as he walked toward him.

“No, I… Um where’s Gallagher?” he asked.

“Don’t know, probably quit. Can’t say I blame him. Years of listening to grown men cry about their daddy issues would push me over the edge too.”

Mickey glared at the guard but kept his cool. The last thing he wanted was to fuck up on his last day in. He turned around and walked back toward his cell. He tried to think of why Ian would leave and not tell him. Was it too difficult for him to say goodbye? 

Is that why he was so upset yesterday? He was probably waiting for Mickey to finally open up about his feelings and when the inmate failed, he opted to leave instead. No sense in wasting anymore time, Mickey thought. 

Mickey had a million thoughts swirling around his mind and none of them were good. He felt his shoulders slump as he walked back to his cell. When he entered he looked around and realized he would never spend another night on the twin size bed. He would never again piss in that toilet or eat at the small table. 

He sat down on the bed and looked down at his hands. Of course now that he wanted to tell Ian the truth, the red head disappeared. Now that he thought he was ready to tell him how he really felt, he found himself alone. 

It was just as well, he thought. He could have never made Ian happy. Ian deserved someone who could open up and not hide behind their dirty past. He deserved someone who knew how to be an adult and not a young kid who could barely function around authority. 

Suddenly the day Mickey had dreaded was upon him and instead of having Ian to help him through it, he was forced to face it alone. I should get used to being alone, he thought. He shook his head and decided to pack what little belongings he had. 

Mickey was due at the Warden’s office in less than an hour. 

“Hey man.”

Mickey looked up and saw Jerome leaning at his doorway. Mickey tilted his head in acknowledgement. 

“You finally getting out huh? Must be pretty excited to be leavin this shithole,” Jerome joked.

Mickey let out a nervous laugh. 

“Yeah something like that.”

“Stay straight man. I see you back in here and I’ll kick your pale ass myself, got it?”

Mickey nodded and almost choked on his spit at the choice of words.

“Last place I want to come back to,” Mickey agreed.

He grabbed his bag and made his way to the front of the prison where the warden’s office was located. 

“Oh yes, Milkovich,” the warden said the boredom.

“I know I’m going to miss you. I’ve grown to love our time together and I’m finding it hard to say goodbye.”

The warden seemed less than amused by Mickey’s smart ass comments. He rolled his eyes and got up from his desk. 

“This way,” he said pointing to a long corridor. 

Mickey followed and kept his head down. 

“M821204 preparing for release,” the warden said in a monotone voice. 

He watched as the warden signed a few forms and then turned to Mickey. 

“It’s been less than a pleasure Milkovich. Do me a favor and don’t come back,” he said.

Mickey rolled his eyes and as soon as the warden turned around, flipped him off.

“Asshole,” he mumbled. 

He was given a pair of jeans and a white long sleeve sweatshirt, along with sneakers and a state issued ID that he got a few weeks ago. The last thing he was handed was $20 to serve as his bus fare to get him wherever he needed to go. 

He was set to meet with his parole officer the following morning to go over his housing and work situation. Something he was not looking forward to but he knew it had to be done.

“Don’t spend it all in one place Milkovich,” one of the guards commented.

He too was flipped off. He cautiously made his way to the outer doors and then stopped at the main gate, waiting for it to open. He wasn’t prepared for the sight of the person standing on the other side. 

The red head smiled as he leaned on his car casually as if it was any other day. Mickey paused and looked at him, silently asking for reassurance that Ian was indeed there for him. 

“You coming or what?” Ian said playfully. 

Mickey walked closer to him and stopped a few inches short of the tall man. 

“You here for me?” he asked shyly. 

Ian laughed.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Mickey shrugged.

“They said you quit. You just… left,” he said. 

Ian stepped closer to the now ex-felon.

“I wanted to surprise you,” he said softly. 

“There’s nothing left for me in there,” Ian said motioning to the prison. 

Mickey had a small smirk playing on his lips. He let Ian grab his face with both hands and force their eyes together. They stared at each other for a long time until finally Mickey reached up and connected their lips. It felt even better than the first time they kissed. Possibly because this time Mickey wasn’t injured.

He didn’t know how long they kissed and he didn’t care. All he knew was the feeling of freedom radiating through his body was very real and very scary. 

“Wait what about your job?” Mickey asked when they broke apart.

Ian just laughed.

“I have another job Mickey at a private practice. No more prisons or inmates.”

“Now come on, you must be hungry.”

Mickey couldn’t argue with that. After seven years of prison food he was ready for something really greasy.

“What do you feel like eating?” Ian asked. 

Mickey thought about and decided exactly what he wanted. 

“I want the greasiest cheeseburger with chili fries and a milkshake,” Mickey answered, moaning at the sound of the great feast.  
Ian laughed again. He couldn’t help the grin permanently attached to his face and he simply didn’t care. He was happy and he wanted to make Mickey happy. 

“Burger it is!”

They stayed silent during the hour long car ride, even when they reached their destination. Their interactions in the prison had been so cautious with eyes constantly on them that they weren’t sure how to act around each other in public.

“You been here before?” Mickey asked when they sat down.

“Yeah, with my brothers,” Ian responded.

“You got brothers?” Mickey asked after they gave their order to the waiter.

He smiled at Mickey.

“Yeah, my older brother is named Lip and my younger brothers, Carl and Liam. Oh and my half -brother Jake.”

Mickey looked down at his hands while Ian spoke. It made him think about his brothers. Once their mom died they were all split up in foster care. He hadn’t seen or heard from them in almost ten years. 

“You got any siblings?” Ian asked carefully.

Mickey nodded but didn’t say more. Thankfully the red head didn’t push the issue further. Once their food arrived Mickey immediately dug in and demolished his burger along with all his fries, half of Ian’s fries and his entire milkshake. 

“Holy shit! I’m so full!” Ian exclaimed once they were back in the car. 

“I haven’t eaten that good in… well… never,” Mickey said.

“Well I’m glad your first night out is starting on a high note,” Ian smiled.

“Thanks Ian. You know for taking me out and stuff.”

Ian frowned.

“You make it seem like the night is over?”

Mickey looked at his former therapist fondly. He hoped the night wasn’t over but he didn’t want to assume. 

“What did you have in mind?” he asked coyly. 

Ian didn’t say anything, instead he drove toward his apartment. Mickey started to wonder where they were going since they were heading into the Northside of Chicago also known as the rich side. They pulled up to a low rise set of townhouses made of brick and stone. The autumn leaves had already begun to fall, littering the streets and covering the sidewalks. 

The darkness of night was diminished by the soft glow of the streetlights above them as they walked to Ian’s front door. Mickey felt completely out of place. The only places he’s ever lived in were either shitholes in the Southside or prison cells.

He anxiously looked around before following Ian inside. It wasn’t a mansion but it was definitely nice. The floorplan was open with the living room and kitchen facing each other. He noticed a large tv above a wood burning fireplace. There were bookshelves lining a back wall overflowing with books and a small dining room table with mismatched chairs. 

If Mickey could only use one word to describe it, it would be homey. It felt warm and inviting, just like Ian. Mickey hadn’t even noticed the red head staring at him until he turned his head. Ian slowly stepped closer, inching his way across the room. 

Mickey let out a shaky breath as Ian stopped only a few inches from his face. There was an intensity in Ian’s eyes that Mickey had never seen before. He realized what was about to happen and suddenly felt overwhelmed. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, turning his head away from Ian’s lips. 

Ian didn’t step back, just stood there with his face in Mickey’s neck, waiting for an explanation. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, clearly embarrassed. 

Ian moved his head back and gently took Mickey’s face in his hands. 

“Don’t apologize Mickey. We don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for,” he stated softly.

Mickey shook his head.

“It’s not that I don’t want to but you’ve been waiting for over two years and what if I suck in bed and you realize you wasted all this time…”

Ian cut Mickey’s ramble with a searing kiss which the ex-felon immediately melted into. They slowly walked backward until Mickey’s back hit the wall. By now the kiss was ravenous like two starved men eating for the first time.  
Ian’s hands went to Mickey’s hips, reaching around and lifting him up against the wall. Mickey moaned as he wrapped his legs around the tall red head, grabbing the back of his head to deepen the kiss. 

It was a clash of tongues and teeth as they fought for dominance. Ian was now rutting up and down Mickey’s body, pushing him farther up the wall. 

“Fuck,” Ian mumbled in between kisses. 

“Bed… bedroom,” Mickey stuttered.

Ian tightened his hold on the ex-con and wrapped his arms around him while walking into his bedroom. Once they reached the bed, he gently dropped Mickey on the mattress. The next few seconds consisted of shirts being thrown, shoes kicked off and jeans pushed down until both men were left in only their boxers. 

Mickey scooted up to the top of the bed with Ian climbing on top of him instantly connecting their lips again. Mickey was nervous but also excited. He had been thinking about this day for such a long time and now that it was happening he wanted to savor every moment. 

Mickey’s hands roamed the expanse of Ian’s back while the red kept his hands on Mickey’s hips. He gently tugged on Mickey’s boxers, coaxing them down his leg. When he broke their kiss, Ian moved his lips lower working his way down Mickey’s chest and abdomen. The ex-con closed his eyes and moaned when Ian reached his boxers. 

He slowly pushed them completely out of the way and looked hungrily at Mickey’s dick. Without further hesitation he swallowed the stiff appendage, hollowing out his cheeks and sucking eagerly.

“Jesus,” Mickey mumbled. 

Ian continued his work on Mickey’s dick but the ex-felon was getting impatient. He grabbed Ian by the hair and pulled him off his dick and up toward his mouth. He moaned as he tasted himself on Ian’s lips. 

“Fuck me,” he said breathlessly.

They reconnected their lips as Ian reached into his nightstand, searching for lube and a condom. Once he found the items, he threw them on the bed next to Mickey’s head. Ian hovered over the raven haired man, staring intensely at him.

“If you want me to stop, just say so, okay?” Ian whispered. 

Mickey nodded and for the first time Ian realized just how young and innocent he was. He leaned down and kissed him softly and passionately. The fire was still there but somehow the hunger had developed into something more meaningful. 

The frenzied had turned into slow and thoughtful movements. Ian grabbed the lube and coated his fingers. He reached down and kept a finger on Mickey’s ass. 

“You sure?” he asked.

Mickey nodded again.

“I want this Ian.”

Mickey’s back arched off the bed as soon as the first finger was inserted. He bit his lip to keep the ridiculous moans inside of his mouth. 

“You’re so fucking perfect,” Ian whispered.

Mickey didn’t know how to take that comment, choosing to ignore it for the time being. Once the second finger was inserted, Mickey couldn’t help the moan that escaped his lips. He closed his eyes and tried to stave off the nerves. 

He wanted to be good for Ian, make the wait worthwhile but there was a reason that Mickey was somewhat of a virgin. After what his foster dad did to him, there was no way he was letting anyone near him in a sexual way. Sure he got blowjobs in juvie but that wasn’t what he was about to do now and Mickey could feel his emotions start to get the better of him. 

He didn’t even realize he was shaking until Ian inserted the third finger. Ian probably assumed he was just nervous but soon fear overpowered Mickey. As Ian was tearing at the condom, Mickey put both hands on his chest and pushed him off. He quickly scrambled off the bed and ran into the bathroom. Ian was left stunned and confused on the bed.

“Mickey?” Ian asked softly.

Mickey was on the floor, knees hugging his chest as the tears streamed down his face. He was so pathetic. All these years and he still had that asshole messing up his life. 

“Mickey please say something. I need to know you’re okay,” Ian tried again.

He wiped furiously at his eyes and stood up. 

“I’m…I’m fine,” he croaked.

“You’re not fine Mickey, just talk to me, please?” Ian pleaded.

Reluctantly Mickey opened the bathroom door but refused to meet Ian’s eyes. The red head stepped toward him but saw Mickey flinch and thought better of it. 

“Talk to me.”

Mickey’s eyes were fixed to the floor.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Ian was getting frustrated. 

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry. Tell me what’s wrong. Did I do something wrong?”

Mickey shook his head. 

“Then what?”

Mickey took a deep breath before speaking. 

“I’ve never… I mean not willingly. I haven’t ever…” Mickey couldn’t find the right words and that pissed him off. 

“I told you that we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” Ian stated.

Mickey huffed a breath of frustration.

“But I want to. I do, I’m just scared…”

Ian stepped closer.

“Scared of me? I’m not him Mickey. Whoever hurt you… I’m not him.”

“I know that!” Mickey yelled. 

Ian put his arms around Mickey and forced him to look up.

“Look at me,” he demanded.

Mickey did so, letting his tears fall once more.

“I fell in love with you.”

Mickey’s eyes widened.

“I fell in love with you and that’s not going away anytime soon.”

Ian gently cupped the ex-con’s face. He could feel Mickey trembling.

“I don’t ever want you to do something you’re not ready for just to make me happy okay?”

Mickey nodded his head and leaned up to kiss the red head. He immediately deepened the kiss and started to push Ian back towards the bed. 

Ian broke off as they were both panting. 

“Mickey,” he said hesitantly.

Mickey pushed him down on the bed and straddled him.

“I want this Ian. Please,” he pleaded.

Their lips reconnected and the fire they had before returned even stronger. 

“I want this. I want you,” Mickey continued to mumble. 

Ian gently picked Mickey up and placed him back down on the bed. Once again he hovered on top of him and kissed him passionately.

“Look at me. Tell me if you want to stop okay?”

Mickey nodded. Ian slowly inserted all three fingers again and watched as Mickey’s eyes went back into his head. Both men were panting as Ian pushed the fingers in and out of Mickey.

“You okay?” Ian asked.

“Yeah,” Mickey answered. 

This time all Mickey could think about was Ian, the man who just admitted to falling in love with him. The man who waited almost three years to be with him. The man he himself was falling for. 

“Ugh!” Mickey exclaimed as soon as Ian bottomed out. 

“Holy shit,” Ian muttered.

He started out slowly and gently. The last thing he wanted was to overwhelm Mickey again. It was in that moment that he realized he was making love to Mickey. Their arms were wrapped tightly around each other as Ian rocked back and forth rhythmically, their lips sealed together. 

“I’m in love with you too,” Mickey announced.

Ian smiled at him and connected their lips again only this time he began to kiss Mickey’s jaw and neck. He was working on a mark that would surely bruise when Mickey spoke again.

“Harder. Fuck me harder.”

Ian began to snap his hips quicker, pulling out almost completely before slamming back in.

“Fuck!” Mickey shouted.

Ian was concerned at first but one look at Mickey’s blissed out expression told him otherwise. 

“You’re fucking perfect, you hear me?” Ian growled into Mickey’s neck.

By now Ian was pounding into Mickey’s ass, hitting his prostate every few seconds. 

“Jesus fucking…. Holy shit!” Mickey exclaimed.

Ian grabbed Mickey’s legs and pushed them up higher changing his angle and rendering Mickey to a mumbling mess.

“Ian, fuck…I… right there.. fuck… oh god… please!”

Mickey grabbed his dick and began to furiously tug at it knowing his climax was creeping up on him. The tightness in his stomach signaled his release. He bit on his lip and arched his back as he shouted Ian’s name while painting his stomach with white sticky ribbons. 

“Oh fuck!” Ian yelled as he too reached his climax and emptied himself into the condom, biting Mickey’s collarbone to muffle his  
screams. 

They were breathing harshly, staring at each other. It was a comfortable silence as they studied one another realizing this was just their beginning. Mickey was finally free to be whoever he wanted to be. And right now, Mickey wanted nothing more than to be in Ian’s arms. 

Mickey had never had anyone in his life care let alone profess their love for him. He was still terrified about living a life outside of prison but he knew everything would be a lot easier with Ian there to help him. 

That silly red head who never stopped caring.


End file.
